Posted by Daniel on the 1st of December, 2007 at
11:33 pm under Life. This post has 2 comments.
I’m here at the lake with kate and ella. They are the funniest two things you could ever imagine. One minute they’re running a million miles an hour chasing each other, the next they’re asleep. What’s even more funny is that they forget all about running and playing outdoors as soon as I go inside. Then they switch into good, old, never-leave-your-side dogs. I’m sure the prospect of food has nothing to do with it.
At the same time, though, I did drive an hour out if my way to go back and get my wallet on the way down here, since I packed super-lite and forgot it. The prospect of no money for food did have something to do with it.
Posted by Daniel on the 16th of February, 2007 at
10:45 am under Funnay. This post has one comment.
Well, I’m gonna put my foot on the gas and close the door on all speculation. I’ve been running a clean ship for a dog’s age now, and I’ve got to say, all this rebuttling and kowtowing is just really destructive to the team spirit. Everyone knows that up-and-comer Fox Sports Net looks to be heir to the throne, but ESPN is still hot as a pistol, and looking for action on a Saturday night, with diamonds.
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Posted by Daniel on the 17th of November, 2006 at
10:27 am under Movies. This post has no comments.
According to Ron Burgundy, diversity is an old, old wooden ship used in the Civil War era. I need more diversity in my life; right now I don’t even have one.
I’d probably name my diversity the SS Unnecessary. It’s a good sea-faring name, something that strikes calm in the heart of the riotous seas.
But all the same, I’d probably have to leave my diversity at the dock for all but the most special occasions. As old as it is, my diversity doesn’t handle to well any more in modern times. It creaks and moans at the smallest rolling wave. It’s mast is splintering and poop-deck is sagging.
Even still, I love my diversity.
Posted by Daniel on the 26th of October, 2006 at
12:51 am under Funnay. This post has 4 comments.
Most people daydream sometime. I have to fight for peace of mind where I’m not daydreaming. Because of this, I’ve become quite effective at entertaining myself.
Today while following Monica home from the mall I started to daydream. Being the selfless, debonair person I am, I thought of what would happen if someone started shooting / chasing / hassling Monica and my only course of action was to somehow crash my car while jumping onto Monica’s in order to protect her. I heard about it happening on Oprah, so it’s happened before.
Obviously I would execute the maneuver without a hitch. All my training as a stunt car driver and jumper has to pay off sometime. But, let’s take for granted that I total my car while in the process of saving Monica. What then? Would my car, that I’ve paid for myself, be ruined forever? Isn’t that what insurance is for?
How would you file an insurance claim of wrecking your car in that situation? I think you’d have to file it under “Totaled my car while being totally awesome.” That should take care of all the red tape. So, my mind then went to the courtroom where the insurance company is disputing my claim of being totally awesome. You can’t dodge the real world.
After a long, litigious battle the only possible ending is to hear the plaintiff’s attorney argue “But, your honor, you can’t possibly allow someone to base a claim on being ‘Totally Awesome.’” The judge sighs and admits “I’m afraid I have no choice. The facts are indisputable. Mr Larsen totaled his car in the act of being totally awesome.”
Yes, friends, my life is good. Er, awesome.
Posted by Daniel on the 25th of October, 2006 at
12:33 am under Funnay. This post has no comments.
Welcome, and thank you for purchasing this informative book on electronic phosphors! Today we will be dealing with one of the most simple process imaginable; typing.
Just look around you, typing is all over the place. Someone typed in the instructions for your VCR whose clock you never programmed, but that’s OK. Someone typed in the schedule for Backwater Bass Fishing on the who-gives-a-care channel. Why, even my secretary is typing this document for me! No, Susan, don’t write that; I don’t want to sound lazy.
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Posted by Daniel on the 19th of October, 2006 at
1:19 pm under Funnay. This post has 3 comments.
Monica and I came home last night to find a very unusual scene. You see, our living room is normally a rather well-kept area of the house, free from random mounds of fluff, string, and fabric. That is why it was so odd to find that an unwelcome mound of fluff, string, and fabric had taken up residence in the middle of the floor.
The only culprit I can suspect is the toy I had bought for Kate an hour earlier. Some rogue agent must have planted a minor IED (Improvised Explosive Device) inside the toy before I purchased it. With nefarious intent, they detonated the furry ducky before my dog’s eyes.
I can only hope that Kate can bring herself to play with other toys. She does love chewing the tar out of them. Other people have made the audacious claim that perhaps Kate did the damage herself. Do these people not realize that if she destroys her toy, she cannot play with it again? I think the evidence speaks for itself. Behold!
Posted by Daniel on the 17th of October, 2006 at
11:14 pm under Funnay. This post has no comments.
Welcome, and thank you for purchasing this informative book on paper. This book / pamphlet will teach you the following:
- How to interact with people of different ethnicities.
- How to learn from and cooperate with individuals that are not yourself.
- How to accomplish mission-oriented objectives in a cost-effective just-in-time e-commerce marketplace.
- And possibly, how to tame a wild cougar. Ha ha ha, I’m being metaphorical of course.
This section of the IBL deals with the Americas. That is, people living in the United States.
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