Grand Larseny

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Bedtime Grace

I should be asleep now, but I need to record this. I mean, I will be waking up in seven hours and instead of being in bed I’m typing at my computer. What, seven hours doesn’t seem like a lot to you? Congratulations, dawg, you need less sleep than me. Get off your high horse. I mean, not sleeping much isn’t something to brag about anyway, so I don’t know why you even do it. You just make yourself look small.

Anyway. This wasn’t meant to be a funny post, but I like to make myself smile.

So I was just checking on Mae as is my wont before bed when it occurred to me, I love her so much I don’t want my sins to cause her any harm, so I started praying. I prayed that God would protect her from my sin, but the Spirit moved within me causing me to question whether that was a good thing to ask. How could God protect her from my sin? God does not remove the physical consequences of sin even though they are taken on by Jesus at the cross. The here-and-now consequences of anorexia cannot be avoided.

When I realized that He couldn’t protect her from the consequences of my sin I realized he would have to just totally keep me from sinning in a way that affects her. This is, of course, just another way of asking God to keep me from sinning at all. To keep me from sinning He would either have to take away my freedom to sin, which He does not do, or take away my life, which he does not want to do right now. So we’re left with the situation where I will cause my daughter harm in the future because of my sin. This makes me sad.

But, glory to God, He loves my daughter even more than I. The solution is not to remove my freedom or my life, but to add God’s redemption into our lives. We need God. It is His redemption that takes my sin and bring His own glory. He loves my daughter so much that He will intervene in her life, if she asks, so that my sin will work for her good.

So, I pray again that she will seek God. That he will love her and change her heart to love him. And although I will sin against God and her, I pray that God forgive my sin and show His grace in our relationship, a dirty, dim mirror of the way He wants His family to be.

One Comment

  1. Bob says:

    Excellent reminder of the frdeeom we have, bya0Jesus Christ,a0from the penalty of death which we all rightfully deserve, due to our rebellion against God. I would recommend making that sentence It cost the Cross a little clear. Perhaps expanding on that with It cost (required)a0the sacrifice, Jesus Christ the Son of God, on the Cross.

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