Grand Larseny

Today was big. Without a day as big as this, the simple apple I ate would not be nearly as sweet, but first you need to understand today. I like to think I’ve worked hard in my life. I wrestled in high school, pushing my body beyond what I thought were my limits. I’ve ran with the only goal being to pass out so I didn’t have to run any more. Does that make me a whiny emo dork? Yes, but the point remains that I know hard work, in brief flashes.

Today was different. Today was big. I worked really hard from ten in the morning to after seven at night, with only 20 minutes for lunch in between. This is the first time I’ve really exerted myself for nine hours straight, and I don’t think I’ll forget this experience.

There came a point late in the day when I hit the wall, so to speak. My body was done, and I realized that I had no energy left to burn. That’s when Monica saved my day, and acted as God’s agent, I truly believe, when she brought me apples and peanut butter.

Friend, I had the best food of my life, nourishing my spirits along with my body. I know it sounds hokey, but it’s actually pretty realistic in that the energy released by the snack did alter my mood through altering the chemicals in my brain.

The apples were sweet and moist, just enough to quench my thirst and concentrate all my senses on the pleasure of the moment. The peanut butter stuck in my mouth, giving me the feeling that I was eating more than just an apple, I was eating a whole meal. I’ve had the honor to eat in some of the world’s great places, but I have never had a better experience than this afternoon with apples and peanut butter.

This never would have happened any other day; it took the prolonged work to lead me to the point where I really appreciated God’s gift to me. And, brother, it was good.

Everyone knows that one day our robotic masters will rise from their primative shackles to a brutal and emotionless reign. To make the transition for future generations as smooth as possible, researchers have developed the robot cradle to take care of human infants while sleeping.

Apparently the cradle monitors noise coming from the mouth-hole of their ward for any unusual deviations. Once it has been determined that the human has awakened, it is promptly put to sleep with the classic lullaby “SLEEP, HUMAN CHILD, SLEEP.” We are all so lucky to live in such a forward thinking time.

A few days ago Apple unveiled a new model of the iPod Shuffle. Here’s a link to the Shuffle’s homepage along with a video guided tour of the new tech; just try to drool as little as possible.

Here’s the key points for people afraid of clicking links on the web* 

• No buttons on the Shuffle. None. Every button you need is now on the headphone cord
• Much smaller than the older, incredibly small, Shuffle
• VoiceOver to speak the current artist and playlist to you
• Did I mention there’s no buttons on the friggin thing

There has been a bunch of hemming and hawing from people over the missing buttons, as can be expected, but I believe this will be regarded as a brilliant move. Honestly, though, the move is very striking from a design standpoint. When you look at the thing it looks solid, like a single stick of gum or a piece of plastic packaging to be thrown away. Looking inside is no less spectacular; it really makes you feel like you’re living in the future.

The point of the Shuffle, the overriding vision, is to be small. You can have your music in your pocket with any iPod, but the Shuffle’s goal is to reduce volume (volume meaning size, that is). This means there are scenarios where using the Shuffle would not be optimal because there are much, much better options. Scenarios like:

• Playing music in the car
• Carrying around a large library of songs
• Playing songs on a good speaker system
• Playing songs on good headphones

The iPod Classic is great for the car, with a large library, and I use it pretty regularly with a huge speaker system and it responds well. The iPod Nano can be used with good speaker systems and great headphones. If you want to experience your music, these are great options.

I contend that the Shuffle is about consumer driven, perhaps throw-away, media. It is not about tuning your senses to engage as a listener with the artist, it is about appeasing your senses to get on with your day. That, to me, is why the new design of the Shuffle is so brilliant. Yes, you need to use Apple’s brand of headphones to use them, but why would you want something else?

When you’re on the go the best way to control your music is where you can always reach it, on the cord of the headphones. I fell in love with cord-based controls back in the mid 90′s in Hong Kong and again with the iPhone. When I’m moving I don’t want to control every little thing, just tell the music when to shut up and when to start again.

In the end, for me, the thing that kills the Shuffle is what kills the iPod Nano and iPod Touch; the iPhone. Apple has met my needs, and I think that this is one missed purchase they can be happy about.

* I am actually afraid of these people.  Unless you clicked a link to get here, you must go around all day typing misspelled felonies into web browsers. What came after my blog, www.embowzelment.com?

Making a terrarium inside a wine bottle; this is also something I want to do. It seems that I’ve reached a tipping point where now I have a grip of projects that I want to complete (a grip is, roughly, more than a smattering, but less than an avalance), which makes for fun, if a little scattered, times.

Lifehacker has a good rundown of a gentleman’s efforts to create a miniture terrrarium inside a used bottle of rose (pronounced roh-say) wine. Trust me, if you want to even contemplate this project you have to be a snob, so the pronunciation is as critical as correcting those who say it wrong.

Should be good for my desk where the closest thing to nature I’ve got is adhesive vinal wood desks.