Mother’s Day
Mother’s Day is for suckers. A scam run by reptilian hucksters, greedy for a quick buck. Mother’s Day will run over your dog, if you’re not careful. In case you naively think I’m exaggerating at all, consider the following:
- Pirates were invented on Mother’s Day
- Atlantis was sunk by the Mer-armies of Wisconsina on Lother’s Day (an early version of Mother’s Day)
- The Trojans gave the Greeks a wooden horse for Mother’s Day. Then invaded them.
- The pidgeon armies of Detroit gather every year in Orlando on Mother’s Day.
I will not speak on the rest of the atrocities carried out on the behalf of Mother’s Day. Although Father’s Day was created to fight the corruption of Mother’s Day it has been turned by her seductive wiles into a brutal minion of her dark reign. Our hope instead lies only in our ability to spread the truth. Mother’s Day will fall.
I love you Mom!